Saw Observe and Report tonight and noticed that Regal Union Square now offers a new service called “Express Line.” Lacking the ability to resist any new gimmick, I participated. Here’s how it works. Instead of the traditional “go up and buy your snacks then go to your theater” method, for the same cost with the Express Line, here’s what happens:
- First, you wait in the Express Line.
- You tell the attendant what you want as he writes it down on a form.
- The attendant then enters the order from the form into the register.
- You pay for what you ordered.
- You are then given a pager that corresponds with your order number (the pager the kind with flashing red lights like you’d get at The Olive Garden).
- You are given instructions to go to your theater, wait for the pager to buzz, and then hold it up in the air.
- Once that happens, the snack delivery person finds you in the theater and awkwardly walks down your row through other seated patrons to delivery you your snacks.
- You give the pager back.
After completing this process, I still don’t understand how there’s any benefit to either the movie theater or the consumer. In fact, the word “express” is pretty misleading as you actually get your snacks much later than if you would have just taken them with you at the concession stand yourself. That said, I’m definitely going to use the Express Line every time I go to the movies until they stop the program.
Observe and Report is worth seeing. The second half is so fucked up it out-weirds The Cable Guy.
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